I Don’t Hate Corporate…I Love Me :)

I follow lots of entrepreneurs. Most of them started in corporate.

I did drink the koolaid of hating corporate, but not just from them but from my own emotions. I spent most days broke, miserable, and employed.

It was bigger than “the cubicle”, I know that now. It was about the entirety of my life and how there was no point to it all… but no end in sight to it all.

Again, I heard the negative reviews of corporate policy and corporate culture but I had come to some personal conclusions.

Back in 2008, my net pay was $950 every two weeks. My rent was $950. This meant for two whole weeks of working, that TIME spent was for my landlord. This in turn added up to 6 months per year, I spent at a desk, just for my landlord. I thought I would burst at my desk when this reality hit me. While I barely scraped by, the Executives made a pretty good living. They lived in the suburbs and wouldn’t be caught dead in the hoods that I lived in. Their children weren’t living in unsafe neighborhoods and attending sub par schools. Mine, however, were.

I realized at that moment that these Executives took certain steps to be where they were. It wasn’t magic. Why hadn’t I done what they did? Not become an executive because that is not what I wanted. What I wanted was to create my own reality, build wealth, and do more for my children…as I assumed they were (or should have been at the level they were at).

That’s how I felt and of course, I have always felt like the crazy person in the room. Most people didn’t understand my feelings or see the world from my perspective. Most people I know are OK with being in poverty. They make it work. They are poverty snobs in fact. It’s a badge of honor to make a dollar out of 15 cents.

I spent time in my corporate jobs, revealing my future plans and attitudes toward this job or that job. They stared at me, concerned, but they also revealed that they would rather be anywhere else as well.

My disdain grew and grew because no matter what everyone wanted or thought, I knew I was right…about what I was supposed to be doing here on earth.

Frustrated, I began to show it at work. I came in, did my work and tried not to “relate” to anyone. I didn’t need friends. I needed a purpose. I needed money. I needed to get the fuck up out of there, mostly.

What happened is that my days became harder. I was severely depressed, over anxious and I pretty sure I had a couple anxiety attacks.

I couldn’t quit the job so I had to get my shit together.

I began to realize that I couldn’t continue to hate something that I had to do anyway.

The frustration had gone too far. I was basically killing myself, alienating people, not being a great mom or wife.

If I had to work, I would have to adjust my attitude and energy.

So I decided not to hate it.

I also decided to go back to school to increase my earning potential. This would help improve my credit score, do more for my children and do something simple like get my hair done for once.

The future vision was to be proactive while working. The idea was to ACTUALLY work on my own business ideas while working the 9 to 5. I mean, ACTUALLY take the steps to become independent from some company.

I didn’t have to hate corporate, corporate executives, my landlord, my check, or whatever… because it was NEVER about that. It was about me making better decisions and being proactive in my own life. Plus the energy expended regurgitating negativity and scarcity was breaking me and wilting my spirit.

I don’t hate my job, or corporate…..I just love me and  I had to (have to) start showing ME more love.

If you find yourself in a space where you are HATING your job, expending negative energy and basically, blaming anything outside of you….just STOP. In turn, start taking care of yourself in all areas: your health, your spirit, and definitely your career dream. Refocus that energy to where it helps you get to that next level.

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