Finding an Idea – Finding You

How do you find an idea?

Find you.

This will take a little self-awareness and self-investigation.What do you like?

  • What do you have experience doing?
  • What pisses you off?
  • What breaks your heart?
  • What do you get excited about? (Equally, what don’t you get excited about?

Make a list, try coming up with 50. I say 50 because if you only get up to 25 that is way more than 1.

Here’s My List…..

  1. Personal Development (books, podcasts, youtube videos)
  2. Being A Mom
  3. Project Support for 10 years (Project Management, Release Management, Change Management)
  4. Administrative Assistant for 10 years
  5. Degree in Project Management
  6. Degree In Computer Forensics
  7. I like butterflies
  8. Words
  9. Computers/Internet
  10. Working Alone (I don’t hate groups but I like working in a space where I am creating something without distractions)
  11. Crime Documentaries
  12. HGTV
  13. Football
  14. Hayday, Gummy Drop, Languninis (mobile games)
  15. Coming up with solutions for worst-case scenarios – natural worrier 😊
  16. Writing

I’m pretty sure there is more……

Send me your list.see if I can come up with some online business ideas!!!


Is Your Business Idea Valuable?

All I know is that I am bursting at the seems with wanting to build an online business.

I am currently a contractor in IT Project Management. That is how I pay the bills. Being a contractor is  an “up and down” situation. Sometimes you are employed and sometimes you are not.

The truth is, whether I am working or not, I am dying to build an online business that I can support my family with.

So what’s happening now? I am in between contract assignments, money is running low and I am painfully drudging through job boards and interviews. It’s not the life I want.

I have ideas but I am not confident in any of it. I want to provide value but I don’t know if what I know is of any value. So I stop.

How do you know if what you have is of any value?

If you have an answer, let me know!



The Rabbi, The Gangster….and the Surgeon

Are you struggling with the concept of making money? Do you feel as if the online propaganda is all about money? While you would like to make money, you are exhausted and confused with it all. More importantly, you are overly cautious and examining your motives, constantly because you don’t want to just focus on the money. So, you stall and stop and fret about it all.

You can be rich too.

In trying to figure out what type of business I want to build, it has become clear that there is a need to consider how and what will make money. This is tough. This feels like a battle between integrity and having to be an apathetic emotional sniper.

I’m not used to being the sniper, I am used to getting sniped.

In being the “snipee” or target of my favorite brands and products, I have a unique perspective on how I am being targeted. I subscribe to online entrepreneurs, specifically people whose platform is about motivation, leadership, online business strategies and information products.

I went into my email one day and noticed that I was being sold something by them all. Even if it was something at no cost to me, I was being told to click a link. Eventually, I would be sold on something at some point.

I started unsubscribing like a mad woman. Being targeted is exhausting. I didn’t want to buy anything, read anything, click this or tap that.

It got me to thinking, “Do I want to be THIS person running this type of business?” My programs, blogs and media would soon be in the inbox, urging subscribers to “enroll here”, “sign up for this” or accept my apologies…” Sorry, I Only Have 5 Spots Left”. You’ve seen these headlines. They are what they are, right?

So again, would I have to become this, what I am seeing in my inbox, to create impact? Who do I have to be? I’m ME and that’s not really me. However, “me” is a ball of career frustration and various scarcity mindsets.

I guess that I am questioning “the system.” There is a proven system that someone created where if you want to be an information trafficker, you must follow. You sell what you know via blogs, PDFs, podcasts, websites, and now, social media. You word it right. You create funnels. You build courses. You make money. You really make money. That’s the business. Is this the business model and type for me?

I guess that I am also questioning the people, the online entrepreneurs, speakers, authors, and podcasters. How do you know if they truly care about their clients and customers? You don’t. It’s all delivered the same.

The difference is personal experience. Are you getting actual results from the information that you consume from the people that you invest in?

Would you be able to help people get results after learning from this person?

Bottom-line, was it worth it for you?

So the point that I am getting at here…when first starting out, you are told not to focus on the money (but you are broke or working some job that you just don’t want)….then you are told to focus on money. All the tips, tools and strategies are to convert, convert, convert.

So what’s the solution here?

Be The Rabbi and the Gangster.

You have to be both: motivated to get people results and motivated to create revenue streams so that you are not living under a bridge. Below is a quote from the movie, “Lucky Number Slevin.” It’s a dope movie and if you like cult favorites like, “Fight Club” and “Boiler Room”, you will salivate over this one.

Anyway, the quote below is the character Slevin asking the Rabbi how he could be both,  a Rabbi and a Gangster…..

Kind of like a rabbi who’d rather be a gangster or a gangster who’d rather be a rabbi? I mean, what is that, some kind of ‘grass is greener on the other side of the fence’…thing? I mean, how do you justify being a rabbi and a gangster?

The Rabbi:
[pauses, slides tea tray aside] I don’t. I am a bad man who doesn’t waste time wondering what could have been when I am what could have been and could not have been. I live on both sides of the fence; the grass is always green. Consider, Mr. Fisher, there are two men sitting before you {the rabbi and the gangster}; one of them you should be very afraid of. Where is my money?

So how do you justify living in your purpose and turning a profit?

Be the Rabbi… err Gangster, of course. The entrepreneurial world is what it is… not what you want it to be. You are the entrepreneur that you are and the one you are not. The grass is always green (or brown).

Sometimes you will be wearing the hat of the person that is purely,  and only helping people for free where you are providing more value on the front end with no guarantees.

Then other times you will be an emotional sniper, the salesperson, and the business. You will cater to pain points and sell them a solution. You will have to be focused on your bottom line or you will be homeless.

You need to be both.

(Consider the brain surgeon. If I ever had to have brain surgery, I am going to be glad that this person spent 100 years in school and 3 million on student loans, so that I can live another day to see my children. Am I going to question his motives or snark at her 3-million-dollar doctor’s bill when it comes in the mail? Nope. I am going to offer up my first born and enroll in a payment plan. Why? Because I am glad that I am alive.)

So, if you have issues with thinking about the money and building a business with integrity….be the surgeon…Get good at what you do, get people results to the point where they are glad to be alive.

Maybe that is what your ego needs. You need to know that you are providing the best information or services, therefore qualifying you to ask people to part with their money.

Three points to leave here with:

  • No matter what you do or industry you are in, things are done a certain way. Learn to play the game before you try to change the way things are done. You must be a part to set yourself apart because, with experience, you will know how.
  • Be the Rabbi and The Gangster: don’t justify all that you are. You must be both or you won’t have success. You will end up with a hobby that makes no money, or a profitable business with no heart or real outreach.
  • Be The Surgeon: Get really good and getting people where they want to be so that the money is just a result of providing life-changing value.


Wantrepreneurs Are Constantly In A FONK (Fear of Not Knowing)

Is this my ass or my elbow? That is the overall feeling I have right now trying to start a  blog then turn it into a business. I am also writing a couple of books as well….I think…gosh I’m confused. I don’t know what I’m doing.

BREAKING NEWS: Nobody knows what they are doing.

Wantrepreneurs give up out of frustration because they get overwhelmed.

The truth is that they actually get overwhelmed with what they think other entrepreneurs are doing or knowing.

Yes, they may know a little more than you in certain areas. However, I promise you that they are at some plateau having to figure out yet another concept to grow their business which is the same as where we are in our nonexistent or 0 -3-or-4 figure businesses.

I realized something the other day…I didn’t know what I was doing when I entered a relationship with my husband. No clue! I especially didn’t know what to do when I had my first child. Even now that I have 5 children, I still don’t really know what I am doing. Building anything is much like raising my children. At every stage of their lives, I am having to add to my bag of tricks based on gender, personality, interests, emotional makeup and whether or not they prefer mustard or ketchup on their hotdog. I grab at straws often being a parent.

I just show up every day. I keep at it. I deal with each situation as it comes and make the best decision with the most current knowledge that I have available. Thank God that I have 18 years to course correct.

That’s the key: Just keep showing up.

I know everything that I know… and 100% sure there is so much more that I don’t.

You might be thinking, “well you can’t just walk away from your family so that’s easy commitment!”  To that, I say, yes, I could. Technically, I could just not go back home. Plenty of people that I know have done just this thing. My father did it. He just resigned from his parenting job. Hilarious in hindsight.  I obligate myself to my family. I don’t HAVE to. I CHOOSE to.

Are you constantly abandoning your business ideas because you feel like you don’t know what to do?

Can you think of anything that you didn’t know how to do that you kept doing until you became an expert? Walking, talking, and drinking from a topless cup, and every grade level in school.

The first day of first grade was uncomfortable. The 100th day was probably awesome even if we didn’t notice. Furthermore, second grade was inconceivable on the first day of first grade…. until you were in third grade brushing second grade off of your shoulders…like a BOSS!!!!

There are levels to this shit!!!!

Building a business requires that you understand that you don’t know shit and neither does anyone else. We are all grabbing at straws at the level we are at, no matter what level that is. We all knew enough to get to where we are. Then, as if by divine design, its time to learn something else.

Remember that every one of us at every stage of business is trying to figure this thing out. The way to become a successful entrepreneur seems to be tied to continuing to show up even when things are not clear or easy to do.

Just keep coming back and when you arrive, say out loud if you must, “I’m overwhelmed.” Then, add, “…so is everyone else and winners commit to navigating through what they don’t know. And I’m a winner.”

It is okay to be overwhelmed and confused. It’s not okay to stop showing up.


You Are Not Enough…It’s Not All About You Anyway!

The problem with most wantrepreneurs is that we must constantly be motivated to make any progress.

We are told that we need to have goals, write affirmations, meditate and focus our chi.

So we do. We get pumped for like three minutes and then we are back in a doubtful place.

It occurred to me one day that I did want to accomplish a few things. I want to build a business. I want to live here, drive this, write this, publish that….

While you are supposed to know what you want to do and be, it seemed to me that those things didn’t motivate me at all. I was excited but it became much like the Lottery fantasy that a lot of us have. “If I win 100 million in the lottery, I am going to……”  We immediately think about stuff.

Do you feel like your goals are too Me-centric…all about what YOU want?

I felt that way. I wondered why MY goals weren’t exactly motivating me to take that next step.

Well, here’s why…

My goals weren’t connected to who I wanted to serve. I wasn’t that mature. I wanted stuff and I wanted to be stuff.

Why are you doing what you are doing? Who is it for and why isn’t that the priority in your mission?

It matters.

Whether you want to be a coach, speaker, author or dog walker…how will you serve your people in a way that will change your world and theirs?

Get YOU off of your mind. It’s not about you.

Your mission and my mission should have goals for our customers. This is something I rarely hear: What are your goals for your clients?

It is about improving the lives of the people you touch, not about what you are going to get.

I’ve heard that you get what you give. The universe is reciprocity.

Wantrepreneurs remain wound up, wanting everything but not really wanting to release anything.

Have you ever thought, “Well if I give everything away, I won’t have anything to sell.”

The more you give away, the more people will learn from you, in turn, you create trust. In addition to trust, you will get more insight as to what your audience REALLY needs. This will lead to designing products and services that you know they will support.

I sat for years making goal lists and visioning my 10-bedroom castle. I don’t think that I ever once thought about that one person, saying to me, little old me, “You have changed my life.”

Stuff is stuff. Helping someone get out of pain, is more than stuff. I believe it’s the reason why we are all here. The energy that you get from helping someone get from point A to point B returns back to you, making you want to help more people….and those you help now want to help people too.

It’s not about you and your goals unless your goals include how you are planning to serve.

How can you redesign your goals so that they focus more on service? What are your goals for your clients and customers? What will they get, achieve, and most importantly, what will they be able to pay forward that you have inspired in them?



Romanticizing Business

And they lived happily ever after.
Actually, have you ever wondered what happened after Cinderella married the prince?

If you are married, then you have a pretty good idea. If you are not married or are in a long-term relationship, then lean in, come closer….marriage can be a shit show with good performances and some acts that clearly need to be taken out back and shot dead.

It can be romantic and fairytale like but reality will set in. Marriage requires consistent effort as does building a business.

And it’s not always romance that brings you from the brinks of ruin. It will come down to how hard you are willing to WORK.

So why do we romanticize building a business?

The same reason we romanticize being in love….we don’t want to deal with the yucky stuff. Similar to love, we think there is not supposed to be any yucky stuff. 

You can see it in your head…you set up your business and instantly, everyone loves you, trusts you and can’t wait to give you their money. Ideas to grow your business just come and they make you even more money. Even more, no one ever says anything bad about you on ANY social media site EVER!

All seamlessly and effortlessly.

And you live happily ever after.

Um, that’s just not realistic. It’s never happened to anyone ever.

To expect to go through perfectly unscathed is disrespectful to entrepreneurs who have battle scars, high credit card utilization, marriages surviving on a thin string, time missed with their children, lost money on investments, bags under their eyes, ideas that never took off, sleepless nights, loneliness, depression, anxiety and a few extra pounds…all to build a successful company. 

It’s disrespectful for you to not try because God forbid this doesn’t work, right?

You don’t get to keep running and hiding. You and I have to keep showing up. We keep showing up, working on our plans, taking hits and getting back up. That’s what successful entrepreneurs are doing and what we are not.

My personal story is wanting to find the right idea, that makes me want to nurture it. However, I need to want to nurture it, to see it through, to give it life and see what happens.

The only romance you are going to experience in love or business is the romance you create. The pleasure is in the doing and believing…in high and low times.

The best love stories are unrequited love anyway. You know, the ones when it’s a tough pursuit, where they have to fight some obstacle to be together?

There’s your romance, there’s your advice…

And never live happily ever after, stay thirsty.


What Pisses You Off? What Breaks Your Heart?

I heard Suzanne Evans ask her audience this during a live webinar.

Anyway, if you are looking for a passion, a purpose or whatever, these are great questions to build your foundation from. Succes

sful entrepreneurs like Gary Vee and Andy Frisella seemed pissed. If you follow them, they seem to have a chip. Some people cannot take them because they are very passionate (and compassionate) about how they live. Those are extreme examples of people who are pissed off by wantrepreneurs, scammers and “snowflakes” acting as if. Their platforms are built on this energy… this pissed-off-ness. 

Personally, I love them both because I like being punched in the mouth. I, too, am a puncher. My children don’t get advice from me that isn’t laced with a little, “no-excuses-take-responsibility-this-is-your-life-it-has-to-mean-something-to-you – I-can’t- live-for-you” Period. 

Of course, I am a mama bear. I will kill you if you try to hurt them. Know this. However, I don’t like whimpering, complaining, blaming and the thought of my kids being one of those kinds of adults that are 40 year old toddlers who can’t find their sippy cups.

What breaks your heart?

Some people’s ideas came straight from heartbreak. They saw suffering, a need to help, and a business was born. Lots of life coaches come from this place. To be honest, they are sometimes pissed and heartbroken but their driver is the fact that they want to bring you out of pain with hand-holding and emotional support.

Journal the questions: What pisses you off? What breaks your heart?

This will lead you to something that you are probably meant to be involved in.

You know what pisses me off and breaks my heart?

People who don’t even try. What pisses me off is that they give nothing to life, they are afraid of EVERYTHING and they usually live off of everyone around them and contribute nothing. The inflated sense of self really irritates me. Equally, it breaks my heart that I know, that they know, how useless they are to the people who need them.

They don’t know why they are here. They don’t know what to do, who to be, where to go or anything. They come from lack, poverty, addiction, situational depression….and they don’t change it….they just live with it. They don’t feel a need to defy odds, set new precedents, or straight up obliterate generational curses. Once again, equally heartbroken and pissed off.

Anyway, answer the questions in the comments. It’s just you and me…and I won’t tell anyone.




Wantrepreneurs Avoid Challenges

We say we are not creative.

We say we just aren’t consistent and that we need to stay at it because that’s the real issue here.

We say there’s no time.

Those could be the lies we tell ourselves that keep us here.

It takes creativity to avoid the things we need to do. So turns out, we are quite creative.

You are consistent at NOT doing what needs to be done.

I don’t know about you but my day pretty much plays out as it did yesterday.
Same shit, different day. How’s that for consistency?

The best thing about my life is that I have 5 kids. I’m the nanny, the on call doctor, desktop support for every device in the house, maid, butler, chef, cheif hug operator, trip planner, project manager, and NOT Daddy.

When I tell you that there is ALWAYS something on the docket.
So, I’m going to tell you a secret.

When I used to think about writing blog posts and generating business ideas, I had a subconscious tactic.

Walk away from the computer and do a load of laundry, check on credit/bank balances, balance the budget, check the mail, insert toddler here/anywhere….she’s needy, vacuum the car out, fold clothes, there’s always dishes, gotta make breakfast, gotta make lunch, oh, its dinner time….it never stops. So my distractions are limitless AND justifiable.

I HAVE to take care of my family.

But there is a caveat.

Nothing is that urgent that I can’t take one hour to write a little (or a lot).

With that said, I will create urgency…. If the socks are not matched the world is going to implode…is what I tell myself.

So could you be creating nonsensical urgency to avoid getting started or be consistent?

I don’t like to use my children as an excuse. It’s a little pet peeve of mine. I would rather use them as motivation because my kids are AWESOME. I would never want them to think that Mommy was never happy because she felt like she had to sacrifice for us.

It sounds noble but there’s a thin line between “padding” yourself in the lie to avoid doing shit….and really having no choice…hands down… deciding NOT do something because you are a parent and that’s that.

Very thin line.

I know people with children. A few take care of their children full time and the others see their child when the wind blows them in their child’s direction.

Full time parents, I feel for you. I don’t even have the words to explain the fatigue and chaos. This is the first day that I actually worked on this blog on purpose. I asked my 13 years old daughter to watch my toddler because she wants to be a babysitter when she is 16. I am paying her 10 bucks for a couple of hours.

I pissed an complained about not having time but I have never done this. I usually sit at the dining room table where all five kids and my husband has access to me. So I write one sentence and someone asks me a question or my toddle wants to sit on my lap.

I love them, but I cant get anything done that way.

People, I am trying to take over the world, so I need time that is specifically set aside to do so. )

Anyway, what I want you to get from this is that everything is not urgent. You may be avoiding the things that need to be done by creating urgency around bullshit.

@Not Me, I’m Perfect on IG and Twitter.

Were You “Born” An Entrepreneur?

Alot of entrepreneur stories start off pretty routine. They do college, get a job, hate the job then turn to entrepreneurship. Ok, so this is not the case all the time but its a trend worth noting. 🙂

Some would say they were not “born” entrepreneurs.

My plan was to be an entrepreneur. That plan lasted all of five minutes because by 20, I was pregnant. I needed a job.

So I got a job.

Years of poverty would ascend upon me so I put my entrepreneurial aspirations in my front pocket. You know how you put something in your pocket and you keep tapping it to make sure its still there? Yes, it was like that.

Every so often, I would take it out, smell it, give it a big hug, then put it back in my pocket. Then I went to work….on someone elses’ mission. In every town hall meeting at every company I have worked for, I hear how well the company is doing. Their goals, their mission, their growth. I want to be psyched but usually I default to, “How can I build a company this size to have similar impact on so many lives? I had no idea so I got up and went into work the next day over and over for the last 20 years or so.

Does this mean I wasn’t “born” an entrepreneur?

Well, I don’t think so.

There are so many factors that will determine if you actually believe in the viability of your goals and dreams.

I have heard plenty of stories of how this person has NEVER worked for anyone else EVER. At first, I could compare myself to them. Then, I would feel bad that I didn’t have the balls, the money or the mental mindset to build a business 18 years ago.

Here’s what I hate to admit…I wasn’t there yet. It wasn’t the right time.

I wasn’t just broke. I was broken. I wasn’t just depressed, I was hopeless. I wasn’t just lost, I was in a violent abyss.

There was so much inner work to do. It was astounding how much of a wounded animal I was. Building a business? Maybe if I learned how to compartmentalize. Cry and scream at night and wake up and pretend to be ok all day….while working on my writing and business. I’m not that good. Everything affects everything that affects everything in my life.

That inability to silo problems in one area in order to make things better in another area really sidelined me. However, I learned that its totally human. Furthermore, it is also NOT an excuse.

I made the decision to start one area of my life. I started with going back to school to finish my degree. I didn’t think that it would change my life much. Being a college graduate was a lifelong goal for me. I was 12 when it became a “thing”. At 30, I needed to do this. It changed my life in a magnitude of ways. With this one decision, I began to realize my true priorities. You can read about this journey in my book, “Mom, Wife, Online Student?” It will be available at the top of 2018.

Anyway, I talk about that journey with inner work and school to say that although I feel like I was born to build a business, it wasn’t the time then. I would have punched you in the mouth if you told me 15 years ago that I wasn’t ready. I wanted it so bad.

The fact that I wasn’t ready had nothing to do with my circumstances. If you are in a shit storm, you can start your business and make it work. I could have. The only reason why I didn’t is simply because it wasn’t time…for me.

Just don’t go on believing that if your life isn’t perfect that you can’t work on your ideas or that because you have a job that you weren’t “born” to be an entrepreneur. You just have to make a decision as to whether the time is NOW or is there some other thing that needs to come first. You also have to decide how bad you really want it.

Although I didn’t come out the womb kicking, screaming and selling my book to the doctor….I was born an entrepreneur. I just had to take a few “detours”. If your goal is to build and grow a business, don’t judge your journey and worry about whose doing what right now. Stay your course.

I Don’t Hate Corporate…I Love Me :)

I follow lots of entrepreneurs. Most of them started in corporate.

I did drink the koolaid of hating corporate, but not just from them but from my own emotions. I spent most days broke, miserable, and employed.

It was bigger than “the cubicle”, I know that now. It was about the entirety of my life and how there was no point to it all… but no end in sight to it all.

Again, I heard the negative reviews of corporate policy and corporate culture but I had come to some personal conclusions.

Back in 2008, my net pay was $950 every two weeks. My rent was $950. This meant for two whole weeks of working, that TIME spent was for my landlord. This in turn added up to 6 months per year, I spent at a desk, just for my landlord. I thought I would burst at my desk when this reality hit me. While I barely scraped by, the Executives made a pretty good living. They lived in the suburbs and wouldn’t be caught dead in the hoods that I lived in. Their children weren’t living in unsafe neighborhoods and attending sub par schools. Mine, however, were.

I realized at that moment that these Executives took certain steps to be where they were. It wasn’t magic. Why hadn’t I done what they did? Not become an executive because that is not what I wanted. What I wanted was to create my own reality, build wealth, and do more for my children…as I assumed they were (or should have been at the level they were at).

That’s how I felt and of course, I have always felt like the crazy person in the room. Most people didn’t understand my feelings or see the world from my perspective. Most people I know are OK with being in poverty. They make it work. They are poverty snobs in fact. It’s a badge of honor to make a dollar out of 15 cents.

I spent time in my corporate jobs, revealing my future plans and attitudes toward this job or that job. They stared at me, concerned, but they also revealed that they would rather be anywhere else as well.

My disdain grew and grew because no matter what everyone wanted or thought, I knew I was right…about what I was supposed to be doing here on earth.

Frustrated, I began to show it at work. I came in, did my work and tried not to “relate” to anyone. I didn’t need friends. I needed a purpose. I needed money. I needed to get the fuck up out of there, mostly.

What happened is that my days became harder. I was severely depressed, over anxious and I pretty sure I had a couple anxiety attacks.

I couldn’t quit the job so I had to get my shit together.

I began to realize that I couldn’t continue to hate something that I had to do anyway.

The frustration had gone too far. I was basically killing myself, alienating people, not being a great mom or wife.

If I had to work, I would have to adjust my attitude and energy.

So I decided not to hate it.

I also decided to go back to school to increase my earning potential. This would help improve my credit score, do more for my children and do something simple like get my hair done for once.

The future vision was to be proactive while working. The idea was to ACTUALLY work on my own business ideas while working the 9 to 5. I mean, ACTUALLY take the steps to become independent from some company.

I didn’t have to hate corporate, corporate executives, my landlord, my check, or whatever… because it was NEVER about that. It was about me making better decisions and being proactive in my own life. Plus the energy expended regurgitating negativity and scarcity was breaking me and wilting my spirit.

I don’t hate my job, or corporate…..I just love me and  I had to (have to) start showing ME more love.

If you find yourself in a space where you are HATING your job, expending negative energy and basically, blaming anything outside of you….just STOP. In turn, start taking care of yourself in all areas: your health, your spirit, and definitely your career dream. Refocus that energy to where it helps you get to that next level.

@ Not Me Im Perfect on IG and Twitter