Romanticizing Business

And they lived happily ever after.
Actually, have you ever wondered what happened after Cinderella married the prince?

If you are married, then you have a pretty good idea. If you are not married or are in a long-term relationship, then lean in, come closer….marriage can be a shit show with good performances and some acts that clearly need to be taken out back and shot dead.

It can be romantic and fairytale like but reality will set in. Marriage requires consistent effort as does building a business.

And it’s not always romance that brings you from the brinks of ruin. It will come down to how hard you are willing to WORK.

So why do we romanticize building a business?

The same reason we romanticize being in love….we don’t want to deal with the yucky stuff. Similar to love, we think there is not supposed to be any yucky stuff. 

You can see it in your head…you set up your business and instantly, everyone loves you, trusts you and can’t wait to give you their money. Ideas to grow your business just come and they make you even more money. Even more, no one ever says anything bad about you on ANY social media site EVER!

All seamlessly and effortlessly.

And you live happily ever after.

Um, that’s just not realistic. It’s never happened to anyone ever.

To expect to go through perfectly unscathed is disrespectful to entrepreneurs who have battle scars, high credit card utilization, marriages surviving on a thin string, time missed with their children, lost money on investments, bags under their eyes, ideas that never took off, sleepless nights, loneliness, depression, anxiety and a few extra pounds…all to build a successful company. 

It’s disrespectful for you to not try because God forbid this doesn’t work, right?

You don’t get to keep running and hiding. You and I have to keep showing up. We keep showing up, working on our plans, taking hits and getting back up. That’s what successful entrepreneurs are doing and what we are not.

My personal story is wanting to find the right idea, that makes me want to nurture it. However, I need to want to nurture it, to see it through, to give it life and see what happens.

The only romance you are going to experience in love or business is the romance you create. The pleasure is in the doing and believing…in high and low times.

The best love stories are unrequited love anyway. You know, the ones when it’s a tough pursuit, where they have to fight some obstacle to be together?

There’s your romance, there’s your advice…

And never live happily ever after, stay thirsty.


What Pisses You Off? What Breaks Your Heart?

I heard Suzanne Evans ask her audience this during a live webinar.

Anyway, if you are looking for a passion, a purpose or whatever, these are great questions to build your foundation from. Succes

sful entrepreneurs like Gary Vee and Andy Frisella seemed pissed. If you follow them, they seem to have a chip. Some people cannot take them because they are very passionate (and compassionate) about how they live. Those are extreme examples of people who are pissed off by wantrepreneurs, scammers and “snowflakes” acting as if. Their platforms are built on this energy… this pissed-off-ness. 

Personally, I love them both because I like being punched in the mouth. I, too, am a puncher. My children don’t get advice from me that isn’t laced with a little, “no-excuses-take-responsibility-this-is-your-life-it-has-to-mean-something-to-you – I-can’t- live-for-you” Period. 

Of course, I am a mama bear. I will kill you if you try to hurt them. Know this. However, I don’t like whimpering, complaining, blaming and the thought of my kids being one of those kinds of adults that are 40 year old toddlers who can’t find their sippy cups.

What breaks your heart?

Some people’s ideas came straight from heartbreak. They saw suffering, a need to help, and a business was born. Lots of life coaches come from this place. To be honest, they are sometimes pissed and heartbroken but their driver is the fact that they want to bring you out of pain with hand-holding and emotional support.

Journal the questions: What pisses you off? What breaks your heart?

This will lead you to something that you are probably meant to be involved in.

You know what pisses me off and breaks my heart?

People who don’t even try. What pisses me off is that they give nothing to life, they are afraid of EVERYTHING and they usually live off of everyone around them and contribute nothing. The inflated sense of self really irritates me. Equally, it breaks my heart that I know, that they know, how useless they are to the people who need them.

They don’t know why they are here. They don’t know what to do, who to be, where to go or anything. They come from lack, poverty, addiction, situational depression….and they don’t change it….they just live with it. They don’t feel a need to defy odds, set new precedents, or straight up obliterate generational curses. Once again, equally heartbroken and pissed off.

Anyway, answer the questions in the comments. It’s just you and me…and I won’t tell anyone.




Wantrepreneurs Avoid Challenges

We say we are not creative.

We say we just aren’t consistent and that we need to stay at it because that’s the real issue here.

We say there’s no time.

Those could be the lies we tell ourselves that keep us here.

It takes creativity to avoid the things we need to do. So turns out, we are quite creative.

You are consistent at NOT doing what needs to be done.

I don’t know about you but my day pretty much plays out as it did yesterday.
Same shit, different day. How’s that for consistency?

The best thing about my life is that I have 5 kids. I’m the nanny, the on call doctor, desktop support for every device in the house, maid, butler, chef, cheif hug operator, trip planner, project manager, and NOT Daddy.

When I tell you that there is ALWAYS something on the docket.
So, I’m going to tell you a secret.

When I used to think about writing blog posts and generating business ideas, I had a subconscious tactic.

Walk away from the computer and do a load of laundry, check on credit/bank balances, balance the budget, check the mail, insert toddler here/anywhere….she’s needy, vacuum the car out, fold clothes, there’s always dishes, gotta make breakfast, gotta make lunch, oh, its dinner time….it never stops. So my distractions are limitless AND justifiable.

I HAVE to take care of my family.

But there is a caveat.

Nothing is that urgent that I can’t take one hour to write a little (or a lot).

With that said, I will create urgency…. If the socks are not matched the world is going to implode…is what I tell myself.

So could you be creating nonsensical urgency to avoid getting started or be consistent?

I don’t like to use my children as an excuse. It’s a little pet peeve of mine. I would rather use them as motivation because my kids are AWESOME. I would never want them to think that Mommy was never happy because she felt like she had to sacrifice for us.

It sounds noble but there’s a thin line between “padding” yourself in the lie to avoid doing shit….and really having no choice…hands down… deciding NOT do something because you are a parent and that’s that.

Very thin line.

I know people with children. A few take care of their children full time and the others see their child when the wind blows them in their child’s direction.

Full time parents, I feel for you. I don’t even have the words to explain the fatigue and chaos. This is the first day that I actually worked on this blog on purpose. I asked my 13 years old daughter to watch my toddler because she wants to be a babysitter when she is 16. I am paying her 10 bucks for a couple of hours.

I pissed an complained about not having time but I have never done this. I usually sit at the dining room table where all five kids and my husband has access to me. So I write one sentence and someone asks me a question or my toddle wants to sit on my lap.

I love them, but I cant get anything done that way.

People, I am trying to take over the world, so I need time that is specifically set aside to do so. )

Anyway, what I want you to get from this is that everything is not urgent. You may be avoiding the things that need to be done by creating urgency around bullshit.

@Not Me, I’m Perfect on IG and Twitter.

Were You “Born” An Entrepreneur?

Alot of entrepreneur stories start off pretty routine. They do college, get a job, hate the job then turn to entrepreneurship. Ok, so this is not the case all the time but its a trend worth noting. 🙂

Some would say they were not “born” entrepreneurs.

My plan was to be an entrepreneur. That plan lasted all of five minutes because by 20, I was pregnant. I needed a job.

So I got a job.

Years of poverty would ascend upon me so I put my entrepreneurial aspirations in my front pocket. You know how you put something in your pocket and you keep tapping it to make sure its still there? Yes, it was like that.

Every so often, I would take it out, smell it, give it a big hug, then put it back in my pocket. Then I went to work….on someone elses’ mission. In every town hall meeting at every company I have worked for, I hear how well the company is doing. Their goals, their mission, their growth. I want to be psyched but usually I default to, “How can I build a company this size to have similar impact on so many lives? I had no idea so I got up and went into work the next day over and over for the last 20 years or so.

Does this mean I wasn’t “born” an entrepreneur?

Well, I don’t think so.

There are so many factors that will determine if you actually believe in the viability of your goals and dreams.

I have heard plenty of stories of how this person has NEVER worked for anyone else EVER. At first, I could compare myself to them. Then, I would feel bad that I didn’t have the balls, the money or the mental mindset to build a business 18 years ago.

Here’s what I hate to admit…I wasn’t there yet. It wasn’t the right time.

I wasn’t just broke. I was broken. I wasn’t just depressed, I was hopeless. I wasn’t just lost, I was in a violent abyss.

There was so much inner work to do. It was astounding how much of a wounded animal I was. Building a business? Maybe if I learned how to compartmentalize. Cry and scream at night and wake up and pretend to be ok all day….while working on my writing and business. I’m not that good. Everything affects everything that affects everything in my life.

That inability to silo problems in one area in order to make things better in another area really sidelined me. However, I learned that its totally human. Furthermore, it is also NOT an excuse.

I made the decision to start one area of my life. I started with going back to school to finish my degree. I didn’t think that it would change my life much. Being a college graduate was a lifelong goal for me. I was 12 when it became a “thing”. At 30, I needed to do this. It changed my life in a magnitude of ways. With this one decision, I began to realize my true priorities. You can read about this journey in my book, “Mom, Wife, Online Student?” It will be available at the top of 2018.

Anyway, I talk about that journey with inner work and school to say that although I feel like I was born to build a business, it wasn’t the time then. I would have punched you in the mouth if you told me 15 years ago that I wasn’t ready. I wanted it so bad.

The fact that I wasn’t ready had nothing to do with my circumstances. If you are in a shit storm, you can start your business and make it work. I could have. The only reason why I didn’t is simply because it wasn’t time…for me.

Just don’t go on believing that if your life isn’t perfect that you can’t work on your ideas or that because you have a job that you weren’t “born” to be an entrepreneur. You just have to make a decision as to whether the time is NOW or is there some other thing that needs to come first. You also have to decide how bad you really want it.

Although I didn’t come out the womb kicking, screaming and selling my book to the doctor….I was born an entrepreneur. I just had to take a few “detours”. If your goal is to build and grow a business, don’t judge your journey and worry about whose doing what right now. Stay your course.

I Don’t Hate Corporate…I Love Me :)

I follow lots of entrepreneurs. Most of them started in corporate.

I did drink the koolaid of hating corporate, but not just from them but from my own emotions. I spent most days broke, miserable, and employed.

It was bigger than “the cubicle”, I know that now. It was about the entirety of my life and how there was no point to it all… but no end in sight to it all.

Again, I heard the negative reviews of corporate policy and corporate culture but I had come to some personal conclusions.

Back in 2008, my net pay was $950 every two weeks. My rent was $950. This meant for two whole weeks of working, that TIME spent was for my landlord. This in turn added up to 6 months per year, I spent at a desk, just for my landlord. I thought I would burst at my desk when this reality hit me. While I barely scraped by, the Executives made a pretty good living. They lived in the suburbs and wouldn’t be caught dead in the hoods that I lived in. Their children weren’t living in unsafe neighborhoods and attending sub par schools. Mine, however, were.

I realized at that moment that these Executives took certain steps to be where they were. It wasn’t magic. Why hadn’t I done what they did? Not become an executive because that is not what I wanted. What I wanted was to create my own reality, build wealth, and do more for my children…as I assumed they were (or should have been at the level they were at).

That’s how I felt and of course, I have always felt like the crazy person in the room. Most people didn’t understand my feelings or see the world from my perspective. Most people I know are OK with being in poverty. They make it work. They are poverty snobs in fact. It’s a badge of honor to make a dollar out of 15 cents.

I spent time in my corporate jobs, revealing my future plans and attitudes toward this job or that job. They stared at me, concerned, but they also revealed that they would rather be anywhere else as well.

My disdain grew and grew because no matter what everyone wanted or thought, I knew I was right…about what I was supposed to be doing here on earth.

Frustrated, I began to show it at work. I came in, did my work and tried not to “relate” to anyone. I didn’t need friends. I needed a purpose. I needed money. I needed to get the fuck up out of there, mostly.

What happened is that my days became harder. I was severely depressed, over anxious and I pretty sure I had a couple anxiety attacks.

I couldn’t quit the job so I had to get my shit together.

I began to realize that I couldn’t continue to hate something that I had to do anyway.

The frustration had gone too far. I was basically killing myself, alienating people, not being a great mom or wife.

If I had to work, I would have to adjust my attitude and energy.

So I decided not to hate it.

I also decided to go back to school to increase my earning potential. This would help improve my credit score, do more for my children and do something simple like get my hair done for once.

The future vision was to be proactive while working. The idea was to ACTUALLY work on my own business ideas while working the 9 to 5. I mean, ACTUALLY take the steps to become independent from some company.

I didn’t have to hate corporate, corporate executives, my landlord, my check, or whatever… because it was NEVER about that. It was about me making better decisions and being proactive in my own life. Plus the energy expended regurgitating negativity and scarcity was breaking me and wilting my spirit.

I don’t hate my job, or corporate…..I just love me and  I had to (have to) start showing ME more love.

If you find yourself in a space where you are HATING your job, expending negative energy and basically, blaming anything outside of you….just STOP. In turn, start taking care of yourself in all areas: your health, your spirit, and definitely your career dream. Refocus that energy to where it helps you get to that next level.

@ Not Me Im Perfect on IG and Twitter





Breaking Up With My Old Computer

Got a new computer. It’s about time, I guess. As tech savvy as I am, I find that technical shit is just draining. I have to get all my stuff from the old system to the new system. What makes this difficult is that I don’t want everything from my old laptop. This means that I have to go through everything to see what I want and don’t want. It’s pretty irritating to think about but I have a choice here…

*dump everything onto the new system and go through files later on and delete them…this might take one day.


*go through each file on my old system and decide if I want it on my new system, decide if I want it on my old system or should i delete it out of my life altogether. Eight years of documents, pics and music…this is going to be about a month.

Electrical tape holding some wires in and the TAB button incident of 2010. …I still have the button, just couldn’t get it back on 🙁


Google Searches done today: “how to move files from old laptop to new laptop” and “Windows Easy Transfer” Blah, blah,blah. I need a USB cable, or connect them on my network or something. I tried Dropbox but it’s like a 50 step process.

I’m happy but I feel like I am letting go of an old friend who did so much for me.

I bought her back in 2009. In computer years, she is a dinosaur. She is still sexy on the outside but not so much on the inside. She runs slow, she doesn’t charge anymore…I have to leave it plugged in, in order for it to stay on. Then, it gets so hot, it just shuts off. I mean, it does this loud fan situation and takes a little nap. It’s hard to get anything done.

A raggedy computer will affect your productivity.

Usually when my old laptop starts to freak out, and I am sure its about to shut off, I do one of two things: Close all programs, shut it down manually, and let it cool off OR I just walk away in frustration and it shuts itself off at some point.

Either way, I lose time and energy dealing with my old lady. Some days, I just end up not coming back to my office because I just don’t want to. I usually cash out on the creativity that I did have OR I try to get some writing and research done on my Iphone.

So, its just time to move on.

Before, I let her go, I do want to mention ALL that she has done for me…..4

  • I did 5 years of online college and earned two degrees
  • I’ve done training on just about ALL things entrepreneurial/blogging
  • I used it to get plenty of jobs
  • I used it to fax everything, all over the U.S. for myself and everyone in my family…(with the amount of faxes that I have sent with my Old Lady, I maybe single handedly put the United State Postal Service out of business…who needs a stamp when is so awesome!)
  • I’ve used it to manage my children’s school and activities
  • Etc, etc, etc

She has held me down. I don’t know how I could have done anything without her. So this is my tribute….to my Old Lady aka Tech BFF aka Partner in Success.


Wantrepreneurs and Conflicting Values

First I would like to say that with wisdom and years of being a raggadey mess, I believe you can visually see what people value aka the “staples” of their value system.

People walk their walk…not their talk. Watch them. Watch yourself.

Look around your own life, what do you see? What do you do and how do you do it? Those are your values.

I know what I want to value….I just dont.

I want discipline to be of value to me….but I’m consistently operating in chaos.

I want self compassion and acceptance to be of value to me…but I find that choking the life out of the real me is what I ACTUALLY do…to the point of social awkwardness.

See how you think that you have certain values just because you want to have them….but you are living another set of values?

As you become more aware of what you do and how you are doing it (things you value the most), answer this…

What pisses you off?

I mean really grinds your noodle?!!!!!

Things that irritate and aggravate your existence naturally creates values for you.

For example, I hate it when someone is trying to feel me out…like watch me or position themselves so that I can see them…wants my attention but won’t conmand it.

Meaning that I value people who are straight shooters…they just come and say what they need or want.

To be fair though, my resting bitch face is vicious. I am in my head alot and people don’t know if they should snap me out of it….I get it. Plus, I have been trying to protect myself from everything, because I’ve always felt vulnerable…my face was my first line of defense, lol!!!!

So to honor my value, I have to tell my face that we’ve decided we are no longer always in “protect April” mode.

I’m a wantrepreneur, not for the lack of great ideas. I want to be an entrepreneur because I value autonomy. I want value the act of creating something from nothing. I want value controlling your own earning potential.

I must really  value the security of a “real” job. I must also believe in someone elses’ business goals more than my own because I work in their company. I must also value what they pay me.

What you VALUE is how you live your life today. If you don’t like your life, examine your values and see what’s really going on there. We generally spend time saying what sounds good and excited by ideals.

Just because you believe in something doesn’t mean its how you live your life. It may just be a beautiful thought or comfortable fantasy.

What if you told someone you aspire to be like, what you really did all day? You would have to cut the shit, eliminate excuses and just run a fact list, void of feelings and emotions because your feelings don’t matter in this context.

What have you done all day and who have you been today, not WHY, just the facts ma’am.

What do you value and how is it manifesting in your life and the business that you want to build?

@ Not Me Im Perfect on IG and Twitter

Wantrepreneurs Worry About Market Saturation

Here’s the deal…anything that you are planning to do has already been done in some form or fashion.

How You Do It Matters – Uber is taxi service. Taxi services have been around since camels were the taxi. It’s essentially picking people up from one place and dropping them off to another place. Planes and buses do it too! What Uber did was change the way its done. How can you innovate in your field? Or should you? Explore the industries best practices and find a way to do it different. There’s something in the process that you could crush.

I Demand Choice – Your product or service gives me choice. What if I don’t want what “they” have? Think about toilet tissue and the brand you use. What if the other brand that you don’t use was the only one? That would get my panties in a bunch. Someone out there needs it done or delivered the way only YOU can do it.

This has held me back. Fact.

I wondered how I would impact people when there are other products or services out there already.

I really don’t want to poke open wounds but this is one worry that stems from lack of self confidence. You don’t belive in you enough.

Think about your favorite anything…barber, beautician, entrepreneur, author, speaker…..don’t let them fool you….they have the audacity and self confidence to believe they have an audience, customers, or clients.

How dare they believe they can make a difference in a market full of other (fill their talent in here)?

How dare you?

I dare you !!!!! 🙂

Email at notmeimperfect at gmail

Or Not Me Im Perfect on IG and Twitter

All Wantrepreneurs Are Not Eventual Entrepreneurs







Some of us just ain’t gon’ make it there. Not because the desire is that there.

The main reason is that for some of us, it’s not that urgent.

I studied Project Management in college. When creating a process or product, its customary to make a list. More than likely, this list is long and unrealistic. This list is everything that you want the end result to be. They are called requirements. When you are writing this list, you are listing what is “required” to satisfy your desired result.

After you make your ridiculous requirements list, it is then prioritized into “must-haves” and “nice-to-haves”. This means that some things on your list are not going to happen.

Must -haves are non-negotiable. In their absence, what is being created will lack quality or functionality that it needs. You are building a car….wheels will have a huge impact on the car moving from point A to point B.

Nice-to-haves are features and functions, that if you left them out, the final product will still perform satisfactorily. You are building a car…a DVD player won’t have any bearing on the car moving from point A to point B. It just would be nice to have should you have 5 children behind you 🙂

So now we get to the question…

Is an entrepreneurial path a “must-have” or a “nice-to-have” for you?

Most people that I know seem to have an ethereal connection to entrepreneurship.

It seems like a fantasy to them. So they treat it that way.

People bring ideas to me all the time. Although I have never had a successful business, most people know that I study entrepreneurship and small business.

They’ll come to me and say, “I have an idea”. Then they will go on to tell me what they are planning to do.

I throw in my two cents because I been around a few blocks and know a few things.

Then time passes…and nothing.

I secretly think that they want me to do all the research, set up websites, and run their social media. This I can do, but I won’t.


Because they aren’t serious and that’s their dream, not mine.

I digress.

They think that if they build it…customers will just come.

They think that they are going to build a successful business just to go sit on the beach somewhere.

They think that investors are going to just give them money.

They think they are going to be discovered.

They neglect most urgent issues in their personal lives, but they think they are going to build a business.

They just don’t want to work.

There’s more but I digress again.

It’s not romantic or ethereal but fantasies are.

The fantasy of entrepreneurship gets us all.

Some of us will continue to live in this fantasy because the thought of the thing is enough.

The rest of us will just get to work, keep working, keep showing up and do it all again tomorrow.

@Not Me I’m Perfect on IG and Twitter.

What Got You Here Won’t Get You There…It’s True


I did a Google search on why I don’t do what I know I need to do.

What came up was Marshall Goldsmith and “What Got You Here, Won’t Get You There”

I thought that was interesting because that is what I do.

I rely on my abilities that I had in the past to perpetuate or create success in entrepreneurship.

For instance, in the past, I had was very scrappy. Meaning, I had the confidence to know that I would figure shit out.

What does he mean that something like that would not help me in building a successful business?

Plainly put, and I quote from the book, “…imagine trying to tell someone so delusional that they are doing something wrong and they are going to need to change.”

I have been delusional.

The way that I did things before is not really contributing now. Why? Because when I said that I would “figure it out”, that was in my education where I have always been successfully and where everything was structured and CERTAIN. I knew what grade I needed to pass. So I did everything to make sure that grade was where it needed to be.

What is very different in entrepreneurship, the results are going to be uncertain so I find that “figuring it out” needs an addendum. Is there a way that I can create that certainty that I had in the past? Yes, of course.

The certainty won’t be in the results. It will more than likely be in what actions I expect myself to carry out consistently REGARDLESS of results.

Here’s what I also realized. That certainty that I could get that grade to move forward also drove me to do so. I knew the end of the story, I knew that it had a “happy” ending, so I would keep reading. It was a PAGE TURNER!!!!

It’s not the same as building a blog or business or creating a physical product. This is not a page turner. I would much rather stay on the page where it shows how great my plans are according to me, rather than put them out in the market and possibly get a big fat “F”.

Needless to say, if you and I don’t get a handle on what we need to be certain in this thing, we will not see success. The one thing that I see that I can hang my hat on is my willingness to show up, over and over and over. But will I, if there is no gold star or A++ to get?

Time will tell won’t it?